The more I see the content Apple TV puts out, the more I’m convinced that an AI that has never actually met human beings is writing these characters based on the content it has been fed. In no universe can a sentient being write characters and stories so far off from real people and their lives. Sure, unlikelier things have happened. But when even a regular, run-of-the-mill interaction between two individuals is too difficult to pull off for a production company, should they really be in the filmmaking business? After royally ruining up Chris Evan’s Marvel-made image with a sad excuse for a crime thriller, namely ‘Defending Jacob,’ you bet Apple would be back with “Ghosted” to make Captain America cry at the horrid fate of his wonderful actor, who has time and again proved that he’s so much better than what he has to do. What’s worse? Ana de Armas’ manic-pixie dream girl image, reeking of “written to cater to the misogynistic crowd,” is set in stone by now. What’s even worse? “Ghosted” has names like Adrien Brody and Sebastian Stan associated with this carnival of atrocities. But considering you’re here after going through what I’ve gone through, let’s go ahead and walk through the narrative of “Ghosted,” shall we?
Spoilers Ahead
Plot Synopsis: What Happens In ‘Ghosted’?
Born into a farming family, Cole’s interest in crops and plants has been growing within him for a long time. He’s not much of a social butterfly, nor is he at all a risk-taker. For instance, he’s never even left the country or taken a proper trip anywhere, and that’s not for the lack of opportunities. Cole likes immersing himself in the etymology of farming and the timeless impact of crops on the dynasties and civilizations that shaped the world. He’s also a bit of a clingy, needy person romantically, and he has never had any luck making a girl stay. Sulking about his breakup at the farmer’s market, Cole completely misses out on the “vibes” Sadie was apparently giving him when they were arguing about a plant. I don’t know what vibe his friend was talking about because I certainly didn’t pick up on any. But that’s just Apple TV for you. You have to convince yourself of things they tell you just for the sake of keeping up with the poorly written narrative of “Ghosted.”
Now, let’s back up a bit. We first see Sadie when she drives her car into the city while her boss suggests that she take some time off to mourn the death of her coworker. Now, any person with two brain cells would already know that Sadie is some kind of spy. And if you’re familiar with the generic spy characters that the writers don’t spend any amount of emotional energy on, you see her loner, tough nut, “too cool to give a heck” persona coming a mile away. And as fate would have it, Sadie is sulking about not having a single trace of life in the house she barely stays in and has made up her mind about buying a plant that will inevitably die of neglect.
Enter an insufferably overplayed analogy: a needy plant-like guy meets a girl who would struggle to keep a cactus alive. Cole is hell-bent on stopping Sadie from buying a plant after her unnecessary confession that she wouldn’t be around to take care of it. Yet after a little nudge from his friend, who has sensed some romantic tension between them, you bet Cole goes ahead and asks out a girl who is clearly not the kind of person he should be with. And then comes a date we’ve seen so many times that it’s wildly off-putting at this point. The quirky spy girl pretends to be a traveling art curator, and the clingy guy puts up a facade of emotional independence. What could go wrong? After a surprisingly successful date, Cole can hardly hold in his excitement and has already declared to his family that Sadie is “the one.” But alas! His 17 texts go unanswered, and Cole is having a hard time making peace with the fact that he’s been ghosted. Oh well. Shocker!
How Does Cole Find Sadie Again?
So, turns out Cole has left his inhaler, which contains a tracking chip, in Sadie’s purse. When he looks for the inhaler’s location and finds out that it’s in London, he’s weirded out at first. A sane person would have let it go, but that’s not Cole. He uses a coupon he’s been storing for ages and gets on a flight to London. After spending a fortune on cab fare, when the driver takes him for a chump, Cole comes into a shady neighborhood and gets jumped by a few goons. When he wakes up in a shady warehouse of sorts and finds himself tied up to a chair, the guy questioning him has already concluded that he’s “The Taxman.” I got no clue as to why Cole wouldn’t just join two and two and realize that they’re mistaking him for Sadie, but let’s find it in our endless generosity to grant him this. After all, he’s about to undergo torture by insects for not being able to relinquish a certain passcode the bad guys are after. Well, what do you know? Just as the bad guy is about to place a murderous hornet on his face, Sadie storms in and rescues her one-night stand like a warrior.
Who Is Sadie, And What Is She After?
You guessed it. Sadie is a CIA agent on a mission to recover a dangerous biological weapon called Aztec from a dealer named Leveque (to my horror, played by Adrien Brody). Leveque means to sell the weapon to a certain Mr. Utami, but the only problem is that the case requires an intricate passcode, which is a four-sequence genetic coding. In a sequence that supposedly takes place in Pakistan with Arabian music playing in the background, Sadie comes to realize that she’s made the mistake of hooking up with a supremely clingy guy, and Cole finds out that the “art curator” is, in reality, a killing machine who has even eliminated her treacherous coworker who was working with Leveque.
Taking shelter with Sadie’s ex-colleague, Marco, who has lost a hand on the job, doesn’t work out for Sadie and Cole when a bounty hunter paid by Leveque kills Marco and captures them both. If you’re shocked to see a reunion of the two Captain Americas, wait till it’s time for you to cringe at the sight of Bucky Barnes, who’s another bounty hunter who gets killed by the first one. After running through a field of dead bounty hunters, Sadie takes it upon herself to pose as a hunter and lure Leveque into a trap. With the promise of the passcode, Leveque sends his right-hand man Wagner on a plane to squeeze out the information from the Taxman and open the briefcase. When Sadie and Cole (who’s suddenly a master fighter, by the way) kill off most of the guards, jump with a parachute on their backs and land on an island with perfect hair and makeup, Sadie starts falling for the guy who has shown immense bravery in not leaving her behind even when she was bleeding out.
‘Ghosted’ Ending Explained – How Do Sadie And Cole Reclaim The Aztec?
When Wagner and his people catch up to them on the island and steal back the Aztec, Sadie, and Cole are rescued by the CIA and brought back to the headquarters, and Sadie realizes that she isn’t particularly trusted by her own agency. Even after passing the lie detector test, Sadie is facing a thorough investigation, which, when over, will leave her career absolutely crushed. When an agent tries to appeal to Cole’s ordinary Joe side to get him to open up about any secret Sadie may be keeping and shows him pictures of all the people Sadie has ruthlessly murdered, Cole notices something unusual in one of the pictures. The colleague who Sadie had to kill had an Amaranth plant on her table. Plant-nerd Cole quickly connects the dots and realizes that it isn’t a random plant. The Amaranth was a significant plant for the Aztec civilization. So it may be that the scientist that created the biological weapon used Amaranth’s genetic code as the passcode of the briefcase. Taking Sadie’s suggestion, the agents decide to bait Leveque by giving him the first sequence of the passcode.
When Cole is made to believe that Leveque will go after his family, he agrees to pose as the Taxman and meet Leveque. Facing the threat of death from Utami, Leveque sees no choice but to walk into the meeting, fully aware that it may be a trap. Despite knowing that Sadie has been suspended, Cole believes that she wouldn’t leave him alone when he’s facing grave danger. So he does his best to stall Leveque and Utami until Sadie arrives. When she does arrive and gets the money from Utami in exchange for opening the case with the right passcode, she’s quick to put a bounty on Leveque’s head and orchestrate mayhem.
In the middle of the gunfire, Wagner chases Cole all the way to the control room and messes with the machinery to make the restaurant revolve nauseatingly fast. And apparently, wrestling is like learning how to bike. Finally, at the end of “Ghosted,” Cole manages to invoke his high school wrestling experience to kill Wagner and rush out to save Sadie. And because everything must go their way, Leveque takes a fatal fall from the floating restaurant, and Sadie grabs hold of the Aztec cylinder. If it could not be more boilerplate, Sadie is embraced by Cole’s family, who are naive enough to believe that she is, in fact, an art curator.
“Ghosted” is a 2023 action thriller film directed by Dexter Fletcher.
