You Are So Not Invited to My Bat Mitzvah can easily be called an important addition to the teenage drama genre in recent years. Netflix upped its game by giving a platform to a brilliant story about two preteen girls who find their friendship tested. Another great aspect of this coming-of-age film is the characters in it. They have complexities and layers that are not often found in stories about young kids. One of them is Lydia Rodriguez Katz.
Unlike Stacy, it is well established in the beginning that Lydia comes from a well-to-do family. She is a very grounded person as well, who does not make friends as per her familial status. She is keen on having friends who are loyal to her and understand who she is. It seems she is part Latin and part Jewish, which we think makes her eligible for a bat mitzvah.
Just like Stacy, Lydia also has a dream of making her bat mitzvah party memorable. Her loyalty is such that she would always want Stacy’s party to be better than hers. Lydia’s commitment is infectious, and Stacy considers herself lucky to have friends like her. She does not seek attention like Stacy and does not want to be the cool person or get along with the’mean girls’ type gang because Lydia is aware of their insecurities.
We get to see how different the personalities of the two girls are, yet they get along. Lydia goes out of her way to make Stacy think from a practical perspective. She knows Stacy has a crush on Andy, but she also advises her not to get carried away in the hope of gaining some attention from him.
Lydia is the yin to Stacy’s yang. She gets all the unwarranted attention from a group of cool and good-looking girls and is invited over to hang out. Lydia is not keen on doing it because she assumes they are too shallow-minded, something she and Stacy are not. Lydia could see through the jealousy Stacy felt and agreed to be a part of the group only for the sake of her best friend. This proves that Lydia wants to be different from what is expected of her. It is Stacy who pushes her to go out of her way to make their group feel accepted by the popular clique. The difference between Lydia and Stacy is night and day, yet she is willing to accommodate her feelings.
Lydia stands by Stacy after an incident that makes her feel embarrassed in public. Even though Stacy is willing to believe the worst about her best friend, Lydia does not stop communicating with her and apologizes profusely. Right before the embarrassing incident, Stacy carries out a stunt that could have potentially harmed her. It was Lydia who was asking her not to act stupid. This was the first of the many rifts that emerged between the two in the film. This shows Lydia will have to look out for herself beyond this friendship. Stacy acts selfishly, and Lydia starts to feel the heat of the friendship. She probably could not put up with Stacy’s insecure behavior unless she apologized.
Stacy comes by Lydia’s home only to see her best friend hosting a pool party for her school friends. Stacy witnesses Andy kissing Lydia, which breaks her heart. She feels Lydia went behind her back and did this just to prove a point. Lydia claims that Andy kissed her, and she did not want that to happen. Lydia does seem genuine when she deals with Stacy. She purposely does not want to hurt her, but it seems Andy is attracted to Lydia more than Stacy. The girl knows her best friend’s tendency to go overboard by making everything about herself. This time, Lydia felt betrayed because Stacy was unwilling to understand things from her point of view. Lydia probably snapped because of Stacy’s ungrateful behavior toward her. Stacy’s overreaction proves that she never tried to understand Lydia. It was always Lydia who put the effort into making the friendship work.
Lydia flaunts her relationship with Andy the next day. Even though Stacy was trying to manipulate all their friends against Lydia, the latter somehow had the upper hand. Even when Stacy is advised by the elderly Jewish ladies not to lose female friendships from school over boys, Stacy does not have the heart to make up with Lydia. Lydia, too, for the first time, wants Stacy to come to her and break the ice. She realized her self-respect was more important than Stacy’s tantrums.
Lydia reveals that Andy broke up with her. Lydia was probably sure that Stacy might be responsible for Andy’s change of heart. It is heartbreaking to watch two young girls who are smart but are willing to end their friendship over a boy. Lydia was sucked into mind games to prove her worth. This is unlike Lydia, but she had to put herself out there to win against Stacy. Their friendship turned into a battle, which is sad to watch.
Stacy crosses the line when an embarrassing video of Lydia is displayed at her bat mitzvah party. Stacy apologizes for the act, but it is too late to mend their friendship. Lydia has issues with Stacy, but she never would have gone this far to embarrass her best friend publicly. Lydia was right about breaking off the friendship.
Stacy, on the day of her bat mitzvah, apologizes again to Lydia. Lydia speaks her heart out by stating that Stacy ruined what was supposed to be the most memorable day of her life. Lydia also said that she dated Andy only to make Stacy angry. Stacy feels her best friend’s actions are justified. Stacy’s last act of redemption has her throwing Lydia the grand bat mitzvah party she deserves. Lydia was not keen on attending, but at Stacy’s insistence, she agreed. A surprised Lydia is willing to see Stacy in a new light. This was Stacy’s way of letting Lydia know that she mattered to her. Stacy feels incomplete without Lydia. Lydia accepts her apology, and they seem to have moved on from whatever happened in the past. Hopefully, they will remain best friends forever.