‘I Am A Killer’ Season 4: Episode 3, Explained: Why Did Toby Gregory Blame His PTSD For Inez’s Murder?

Previously in “I Am A Killer,” we saw an episode that made us feel bad for the inmate, Jema Donahue. She went through physical abuse and killed her abuser. However, Toby Gregory’s story angers us. The third episode of “I Am A Killer” Season 4 keeps you on edge the whole time. Toby Gregory served his country for years and was released from the military after being diagnosed with PTSD. According to statistics, more than 100,000 military veterans are in prison in the US. Why is Toby Gregory one of them?


Spoilers Ahead

What Is The Episode About?

Episode 3 of “I Am A Killer” Season 4 starts with Toby Gregory’s mother showing us his medals and photographs he took while he was serving the country. Toby was in Afghanistan and in combat before getting diagnosed with PTSD. Toby went on two tours of Afghanistan before getting released from the Army. According to his mother, Toby was not the same when he came back from the second tour. While serving the country, one sees a lot of things they are not able to share. War leaves a big scar on the soldiers; they see their friends getting injured, and they even see death. The soldiers are prepared for everything, and death is something they see very closely. Of course, experiencing this must be very hard. Once a soldier is released from the Army, it is difficult for them to adjust to the outside world because they are so out of touch with reality. 


The story of Toby Gregory is no different; he found it difficult to adjust to civilian life once he was released. The reason he was released from the Army was because of his growing symptoms of PTSD. He was dangerous to other soldiers. There was a time when Toby thought his country’s soldiers were turning against him and becoming enemies. This is a very dangerous situation because he could have attacked one of his country’s soldiers. According to Toby’s friend, Jesse Anderla, Toby did not have many friends. Toby would rely on Jesse for emotional and mental support. Jesse calmed him down in bad situations and took care of him very well. Toby met a girl while he was serving in the Army, Inez. Inez was a beautiful girl who loved her country and was brave enough to join the military. While it is rare to see women in the military, Inez was in the Army when Operation Eagle’s Summit was at its peak. The operation included several countries’ armies, which fought in a coalition against the Taliban. One can imagine the horror one faces in the Army in a war zone. It is not like playing a video game and killing your enemies; it is a real-life do-or-die situation.

Inez and Toby had an affair while they were serving their time together in Afghanistan. When Toby informed about his affair to Jesse Anderla, he thought the relationship would not work out. Toby and Inez got married pretty quickly after they were released from the Army. The thing that struck us was the fact that Toby had already gone through four divorces before the age of 30. This is a huge red flag that we noticed about Toby. Even his friend Jesse said that he thought it was odd that Toby had been married and divorced so many times before; also, he was proud of the fact that he had been divorced so many times he almost bragged about the same. Nevertheless, Inez’s aunt’s and father’s interviews were hard and heartbreaking to watch. Both of them said they did not like Toby from the very beginning. They also informed the audience that Toby would threaten to kill them and say, “I can get away with anything since I have PTSD.” This is an absurd excuse, and also, because of people like this, there is a taboo around mental illnesses. Toby is in jail because he killed his wife, Inez.


Why Did Toby Gregory Kill Inez?

Inez started noticing all the red flags about Toby soon after their wedding. Their marriage was in shambles after Toby could not keep a job and would drink heavily. Inez and Toby had a child together. Soon, Inez could not keep up with Toby’s behavior and decided to divorce him. People around Toby and Inez started noticing Toby’s erratic behavior. According to Inez’s aunt, Toby used to tell Inez how to dress, how to behave, etc. His behavior was very controlling, and she was scared to leave him. However, when she did leave his place, she went back to Mexico to live with his family. They were sharing custody of their child, but whenever their child was with Toby, he would use the kid to get Inez’s attention. In an abusive relationship, this is more like a pattern. The toxic partner uses one thing or another to get their partner’s attention, and here, Toby uses their child. It would be hard for Inez to get their child back from Toby, and she would struggle a lot because of the same behavior he showcased.

One day, Toby drove to where Inez was staying. She was living in a motel, and he came to her and shot her. He also shot himself in the jaw but survived. Now, according to Toby, he does not remember anything from that day. He was drinking again, and he blamed his PTSD for the events that unfolded that day. He murdered his wife, Inez, in a fit of rage. According to the sheriff, it was first-degree murder. However, Toby and his lawyers requested the court lessen his sentence because he was not mentally stable at the time. He got charged with second-degree murder because of the reports of PTSD that helped his case. Toby did not even go through a trial for his case. The sheriff who looked at this case had different opinions on Toby. He shows the audience that Toby is in his senses, and even though Toby claims he does not remember anything, he came to the motel with an intention.


Why Did Toby Blame PTSD For A Murder?

Inez’s father informed the audience that Toby had already mentioned how he could get away with anything blaming PTSD. Toby murdered his wife in cold blood, and that is the only truth we believe in. He even kicked her dead body in the head after shooting her. If he did not intend to kill her and was not in his senses, how did he go straight to her room? A drunk person would also be a little tipsy, but when you look at his walk on the CCTV footage, he seemed fine. This makes us question his intentions toward his wife. According to Inez’s family, Toby did not get things done his way, and in anger, he killed Inez. Even though he says he loves her, he has committed a crime. Inez was a person who deeply cared for Toby, and he ended up taking her life. Toby says he should be released, but he will only be eligible for parole in the year 2037. According to the sheriff, he should have gotten a life sentence for killing someone so brutally. There were four bullets in Inez’s head. How can one claim to love someone and then kill them cold-bloodedly like this? 

The third episode of “I Am A Killer” Season 4 angers you to the core since you start questioning mental illnesses like PTSD and depression. A lot of people go through PTSD, but one cannot blame a mental illness for this behavior. As far as Toby’s statement goes, he answered all questions very vaguely. When asked by the interviewer why he thinks he should be released, Toby says he would get proper treatment for his PTSD. In jail, one is not allowed to talk about war and combat, so Toby says he suffers a lot and wants to be vocal about his struggles. However, the interviewer debates whether it is safe for a person like him to be out in the world and asks what will happen if Toby does not get the treatment he is looking for. When a straightforward question like this was asked to Toby, he refused to answer it. In the episode, by judging his body language, one can tell he is making up stories again and again. Even his closest friend did not support him and did not buy his theory about killing someone during an episode of PTSD. His friend, Jesse, argued that even though he has PTSD, his reaction to the episodes he goes through is very different. Even if someone handed him a gun during an episode, he would control himself and not kill someone. Jesse loves his friend, but at the end of the day, his friend killed an innocent soul like Inez, who was her father’s only daughter. Her father and her entire family miss her deeply.


See more: ‘I Am A Killer’ Season 4: Episode 2, Explained: Why Did Jema Donahue Kill Her Husband?

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Tarushi Patali
Tarushi Patali
Tarushi is an English Literature graduate, who is currently doing master's in mass communication from Mumbai. She loves making lists and is an avid reader. Also, she likes judging people by their movie taste. In her leisure time you would find her digging random conspiracy pages on Reddit!

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