Zombie comedies, popularly known as zom coms, have been around as long as zombie horror flicks have, and time and again it has been proved that, if treated right, the subgenre can evoke a typical macabre humor, which has its own flair. Inspired by Jerry Frissen and Guy Davis’ comic series, The Zombies that Ate the World, the zom com We Are Zombies is a fun, whacky story that emulates the classic tropes of the subgenre, doesn’t skimp away from blood and gore, and also shows certain deftness in characterization but falls short in making the narrative emotionally resonant or humorous.
Spoilers Ahead
Mercks vs. Coleman: Fake Zombie Exterminators
In the world of We Are Zombies, the undead emerged as rather harmless creatures, contrary to their usual brain-eating, mindless depictions, and are simply content to coexist with humans peacefully. However, with a huge number of undead rising from their graves, the world population has exponentially multiplied, and funnily enough, like AI, zombies have started taking up human jobs, leading to some sections of the populace detesting their existence. Becoming a major part of the masses, zombies now demand equal rights and also object to being called ‘zombie,’ which they consider a derogatory term, and instead preferring to be referred to as ‘Living Impaired’.Â
People have accepted the undead among them, but in some cases, zombie extermination becomes necessary to avoid some typical problems, and that’s where Coleman Corporation steps in—a conglomerate that profits by capturing unwanted zombies and, in the guise of putting them into retirement homes, uses them for experimentation and other dastardly plans. However, lately a smalltime gang of crooks has been secretly stealing Coleman’s contracts, which prompts Hannity, the chief of security at Coleman Corporation, to put his lackey, Stan, on the task of hunting down the culprit.
Loser trio Karl Neard, Freddy Mercks, and Freddy’s half sister Maggie, the only member with a handful of brain cells, are the ones responsible for stealing Coleman’s zombie assets. Stan abducts Karl and Freddy and takes Freddy’s grandma hostage. In exchange for her safe return, Stan demands fifty thousand dollars as remuneration for the loss of the past deals. In order to get their hands on the hefty amount, the trio of Karl, Freddy, and Maggie visit their fixer, Don, who takes them to his boss, macabre artist/billionaire Otto Maddox. Otto agrees to pay them fifty thousand in exchange for them bringing Zelvirella, a zombie beauty queen (a pastiche of Elvira) to him. However, the trio find out that Zelvirella is long dead, prompting Karl to try to approach Jane, a Zelvirella zombie cosplayer/his favorite cam-model instead.
Hannity’s Project Zoltan
Elsewhere, Hannity is revealed to have extreme disdain for zombies, as he fears that they will inevitably outnumber human beings if their emergence is not stopped preemptively. In front of the board of directors of Coleman Corporation, he presents his latest deterrent method, Project Zoltan, a means to change society’s perception of the zombies, which could lead to a worldwide zombie extermination drive. The project aims to infect zombies with a poisonous gas that makes them feral, vicious, and mindless—bringing them back to their stereotypical selves, and with killer undead running amok—the world will no longer adhere to the former approach of coexistence and tolerance. However, initial hiccups in the project’s implementation prompt Bob Coleman, CEO of the company, to pull the funding. In retaliation, a treacherous Hannity turns Bob into a zombie and infects him with the gas, which proves to be working fine this time around as Bob becomes the first feral zombie. Hannity takes over the company and decides to spread the gas in Otto Maddox’s art gallery. Unbeknownst to the crook trio, Maggie and Karl’s grandma, Mrs. Neard, has been accidentally shot and turned into zombie, a fact that Stan somehow manages to keep a secret.
How Did the Zombie Apocalypse Begin?
The trio of crooks abducts Jane from her fixer, prompting a citywide search for them. Jane tries to flee, but after learning about Otto’s request, she brightens up and starts a brief fling with Karl. On their way, Freddy professes his feelings for Maggie in his own eccentric, idiotic way, and the group faces a hurdle by accidentally running over a zombie. The team narrowly dodge a bullet by evading detection by a helpful police officer, whom Karl ends up knocking out.
People and zombies pour into Otto’s gallery opening; amidst them, zombie Mother Teresa is present as well, and this makes for the best practical joke the movie plays by acknowledging her real-life dark shenanigans. As the trio take Jane to Maddox, the billionaire honors his deal by giving them the amount promised, but too anguished at the possibility of losing Jane, Karl decides to reveal the truth that she is merely a Zelvirella cosplayer. Meanwhile, Hannity unleashes the poison gas in the gallery, which turns all the present zombies into feral monsters, and a vicious bloodbath ensues as a result. Maddox and his lackeys get bitten and turn into zombies, and with Jane as their new member, the team of crooks manage to hold on their own by bashing in the skulls of the zombie attackers. Karl takes down a multi-limbed zombie monstrosity, whose appearance is similar to the Shokan warriors of Mortal Kombat. Freddy taps into a hidden source of newfound strength and energy to take down zombies on his own, saving Maggie’s life in the process.Â
With Hannity pulling the strings, the media brands the crooks as bio-terrorists responsible for the massacre of Maddox Gallery. After the horde of killer zombies are taken down by the crook quartet, Hannity appears with Stan and other lackeys to take control of the situation. Maggie rightly assesses that they are being framed by Hannity to take the fall for his vile machinations, and Stan briefly tries to take command by betraying Hannity, only to get knocked out himself moments later. Karl and Freddy try to kill Hannity, and in the process, Freddy gets shot in the chest. Maggie decapitates a momentarily zombiefied Hannity, and Freddy emerges unscathed thanks to the engagement ring box in his pocket, which he brought for Maggie, stopping the bullet.
In We Are Zombies’ ending, Stan manages to flee with the fifty thousand dollars, but not before getting bit in his back by a severed zombie head. Despite pulling all the heroics, the quartet is taken into custody on suspicion of being the culprits. However, this doesn’t really matter in the long run, as within two weeks’ duration, a full-on zombie outbreak spreads, triggered by Hannity’s poisonous gas, which eventually takes over the entire world. Jane, Karl, Freddy, and Maggie get free and reunite with their zombie grandma, Mrs. Neard, who for some reasons hasn’t turned feral till now. As the movie ends, the entire team is seen cooped up inside a diner, while deranged, flesh-eating monstrosities line up outside. Among them, a zombified Stan is seen present as well, who is still carrying the stolen money with him. If We Are Zombies gets a sequel, it will focus on the traditional zombie killer narrative, which is a shame because this new idea of coexistence with undead allies was really hilarious and intriguing.
