It is heartfelt to come across family dramas that handle realistic subject matter and not just any random superficial topics that do not make any sense throughout the runtime of the film. Irugapatru, loosely translated to holding tight, is a Tamil-language relationship drama written and directed by Yuvaraj Dhayalan. Irugapatru is about a marriage counselor and the couples she counsels while her union with her husband goes through a weird trajectory.
Spoilers Ahead
Who Was Dr. Mitra Manohar?
Irugapatru, the two-hour, thirty-minute-long movie on relationships and marriages begins with Dr. Mitra talking about the role she plays in finding solutions to sustain a marriage. She speaks in depth about how marriages are supposed to be navigated and how doing the right thing could save it. Dr. Mitra is a couple’s counselor who was speaking at a retreat and spoke in depth about her experience of hearing husbands and wives bicker about each other. She emphasized that marriage required hard work from both parties, and it would work only if tiny steps were taken to restore love and respect.
Why Was Divya Not Responding To Arjun?
Arjun was one of the husbands who approached Dr. Mitra after he witnessed his wife, Divya, not responding to him for months. They had been married for a while, but their relationship reached a point where Divya was unresponsive to Arjun on a physical and emotional level. Troubled by what he was witnessing, he shared his concerns with Dr. Mitra, who wanted to speak to Divya to understand the story from her point of view. Divya was initially hesitant about talking to a counselor because she had trust issues.
As Dr. Mitra began questioning, all the pain that was bottled up in her mind and body burst like a dam, and the young wife broke down, claiming her husband had been emotionally abusive to her right from the start of their marriage. There were issues regarding constant criticism and a lack of empathy and encouragement on Arjun’s behalf. Initially, he agreed to work on the concerns raised by Divya. Divya’s state of mind is highly relatable because, without harming her physically, Arjun manages to make her an aimless walking doll who does not respond to his love languages. This could be because years of mistreatment at his hands have made her lose trust in his words and actions. Arjun showed signs of improvement, but he quickly regressed, and concerns between the couple worsened.
Why Was Rangesh Seeking A Divorce?
Rangesh was married to Pavithra for many years but began complaining about his wife’s physical attributes and refused to be physically intimate with her. One day, he revealed that he wanted a divorce because he was no longer happy in the marriage. Despite Pavithra begging him many times to reconsider his decision, Rangesh refused to budge. Rangesh could never come up with an answer when asked about taking this extreme step. Pavithra approaches Dr. Mitra for counseling, and just like in the case of Arjun and Divya, she requests to speak to Rangesh. After a lot of appeals, he agrees to meet Dr. Mitra, and he lists out things he does not find attractive about his wife. After a point, Dr. Mitra pointed out that he was desperately looking for excuses for a divorce. Dr. Mitra requests Pavithra to oblige to what Rangesh wants because it seems he is mentally stressed, and signing a mutual divorce paper might reduce his stress, and she would be able to find a breakthrough in his case. Rangesh feels he has the right to exit a marriage that does not suit him. Since his wife and all their extended family come from a conservative background, divorce was a taboo subject.
Will Manohar And Mitra Separate After Fifteen Years Of Marriage?
Dr. Mitra has been married to Manohar for almost two decades, and all these years they have come across as a perfect couple who trudge through problems and never indulged in any arguments. Manohar also took a while to understand Mitra, but he got around her ways of dealing with matters concerning their marriage. He was an understanding husband who was willing to give his wife the benefit of the doubt.
Mitra wanted to be a good wife based on the male clients who complained about their wives during the counseling sessions. She thrives on being a perfect wife who can do no wrong. The entire narrative put forward by Mitra to make sure she does not make any mistakes after hearing stories from her clients sounds troubling because, as a marriage counselor, she should have known every marriage is different. She cannot make her life decisions based on what she hears from her clients. On the other hand, Dr. Mitra is bound by a confidentiality clause that restricts her from sharing details of her patients with anyone, including her husband. The makers of the show got the basics wrong.
Mitra made surprise plans with Manohar, which he found endearing, but soon he learned this was just a result of the app she was helping two techies develop to improve intimacy between couples. Manohar was offended at the idea of his wife doing things for him not out of love but as per the instructions given by the app. He could not place his head around being his wife’s guinea pig and started questioning her every move. He had no reason to get upset because, in the current day, many people use all kinds of apps for multiple functions in their daily lives, and this digital tool could improve their intimacy and marriage. Manohar’s concerns was more in regard to his male ego getting hurt. Being a counselor’s husband, he should know that seeking help for any kind of trouble in a marriage is not wrong.
Why Does Divya Seek Divorce?
Arjun and Divya reached a stage where the husband could not stop bringing up his insecurities by constantly criticizing Divya over minuscule matters. Divya could no longer handle his disregard for her self-confidence and self-respect and chose to leave purely on the grounds of lack of basic understanding and repeatedly shaming her. Arjun’s attempts to reconcile were futile, and largely involved him forcing her to reconsider the decision.
Divya’s threshold of tolerance had been reached, and even though Arjun had a breakthrough regarding why he constantly criticized Divya, she was done being a part of a union that never considered her an equal. She requests a divorce, much to Arjun’s shock. Divya realized she would not be valued in his life, and separation was the only solution. Arjun agreed to the divorce because he wanted to give Divya what she had asked for. Divya suddenly has a change of mind after seeing Arjun willing to go through the divorce.
Divya refused to sign mutual divorce papers purely based on her willingness to make the marriage work. Divya’s move came across as sudden and out of character. It was problematic because her trauma could not have been healed by now. This was rather a cinematic way to make audiences believe every love story has a happy ending, which is not accurate. If the writer-director had decided to show Divya and Arjun parting ways on amicable terms and moving on, the narrative would have been relatable. Divya and Arjun’s arc was inconclusive and unsatisfactory.
What Was Rangesh’s Point Of Breakthrough?
Rangesh, out of sheer anger and desperation, quits his job and follows his lifelong dream of starting an eatery business. Rangesh breaks down and reveals to Dr. Mitra that his dreams were thwarted by every single person in his family for the sake of stability. He allowed himself to get carried away, which ultimately led to him sacrificing his dreams to be an entrepreneur. Rangesh’s dilemma is the condition of every man and woman who dares to do something different for themselves.
Rangesh’s breakthrough helped him find a purpose and encouraged Pavithra to make her health a priority. They both started noticing the changes in their personalities after the upheaval their lives went through and were willing to see each other as a changed person. Rangesh could finally see Pavithra for who she was. Rangesh was a witness to her fitness journey, giving her life a positive spin. Rangesh and Pavithra proceeded to give their marriage a chance, as they both needed to find their way back into the marriage.
Did Manohar And Mitra Reconcile In The End?
Manohar was unwilling to make amends with Mitra after having a falling out over an app dictating her life, followed by her inability to keep her work outside of their relationship. Manohar wanted Mitra to behave like a normal wife instead of being a person who fears making mistakes. Manohar’s expectations were justified. The examples he cited to put his point across were problematic. He cannot expect his wife to be jealous and possessive to prove her love for him. The entire trajectory between Mitra and Manohar was delivered from a male perspective, and despite Mitra being financially sound, she had to resort to begging him to talk to her. The long relationship saga ends with Manohar coming across Mitra’s diary entries. In a rather dramatic fashion, Mitra states she was willing to make compromises to accommodate him, which included quitting her job.
Mitra wanted to take extreme steps for the sake of Manohar. It turns out that Mitra trying to be a perfect spouse caused issues, and she wanted to walk past this ordeal and maybe start from scratch. Mitra giving up on her career for the sake of a person who is unwilling to understand her personality is an extreme step. This is not an ideal that should be propagated currently, when women are working twice as hard to be financially independent. The messaging of the film was wrong at the climax, even though Mitra and Manohar reconciled. Irugapatru would have been a lot more relatable if the writer had not tried to pander to the commercial aspects by refusing to speak about harsh truths concerning any marriage.
