Having deadly predators getting high with coke and going on a bloody rampage has somehow become a fad these days, which is why after Cocaine Bear and Cocaine Shark, now we have stumbled across Cocaine Werewolf. As far as zero budget B horror movies go, Cocaine Werewolf by director Mark Polonia is entertaining enough to keep viewers (who like this sort of campy, outrageous B horror fun) hooked to the screen throughout the runtime with its antics. It’s actually hard to pinpoint any particular negative aspect of the movie when the director has the intention of evoking the vibe of ‘so bad it’s good’ through every single aspect of filmmaking. In fact, the soundtrack and the movie poster are the only two features which viewers can praise unironically, which remains as odd elements given the all around atrocious treatment.Â
Spoilers Ahead
Jack Becomes The Cocaine Werewolf
The film begins with a POV sequence of a werewolf lurking in the Appalachian wilderness at night, searching for its prey in the fringe areas. The thematic significance of wolves gets addressed quickly as the focus shifts to the outskirts of the woods where Little Red Riding Hood cosplayer Nikki, and her manager Shawn, who tried to pose as the Big Bad Wolf, become the first victims of the beast. The werewolf makes his way to a vacant retail store nearby, where a drug deal has gone wrong and a gang member has seized a briefcase full of cocaine after killing his supplier. The werewolf kills the gang member and gorges on its recent kill, when his next victim comes right into his killzone as an elderly uber driver stops outside for a loo break. The passenger of the cab, Jack, an obnoxious New York based stock broker, gets irritated while waiting for the driver, and after a while, decides to venture into the store himself.
Finding packets of cocaine lying around, Jack becomes ecstatic, and puts a few packets in his pocket – until he sees the terrifying sight of mutilated bodies lying around. Fearing for his dear life, Jack takes the gang member’s gun, and as the werewolf appears in front of him, a mortified Jack fires multiple times – but he is unable to slow the beast down, and takes a nasty bite on his shoulder. Jack somehow manages to flee by entering the woods, and after a while, starts feeling the agony from the curse of the beast. It should be mentioned that there is no cell reception in the remote fringes of the wilderness, which makes a safe return to the city impossible. To ease his pain, Jack starts snorting cocaine, which controls the flow of his blood but inadvertently turns him into a werewolf as well. County Sheriff Luke Darson gets an ominous premonition in a dream about something evil happening in the woods, but he doesn’t get to know the full extent of it until the next morning.
In the meantime, Jack kills two clueless homesteaders, who were preparing to hunt down whatever feral creature was calling in the woods, and also kills a woman by pulling her out of her car in the most comical way possible. The next morning, the signs of carnage are observed by Sheriff Darson and the local authorities, as dismembered, mutilated corpses are found across the fringe areas. Darson finds the fur of the creature supposedly responsible for the massacre, and later on, makes a public statement about a wild bloodthirsty beast prowling the nearby vicinity.
Jack Learns About His Curse, And Gets Discovered By A Film Crew
In sync with the popular notion of lycanthropy, after waking up hungover, Jack fails to remember anything about the previous night, and wanders around the woods in confusion, when he stumbles across Sandra, locally known as the gypsy in the woods, an elderly woman busy in her daily horticulture routine. Sandra recognizes Jack’a mark of the beast right off, as her son, who had the same affliction and is the first werewolf who transferred the curse to Jack – is seen lying dead in front of her. According to Sandra, her son was addicted to weed, which triggered his werewolf curse, just like how Jack’s transformation is triggered by cocaine, and out of nowhere, she tries to murder Jack for killing her son. While resisting her assault, Jack accidentally impales Sandra to death, and flees the scene. Later on, he transforms into a werewolf in broad daylight while once again sniffing on coke, and kills a local man.
At the far side of the wilderness, a film crew of five, Vanita, Tiffany, Dirk, and Allister, led by director Slash, arrives at a solitary cabin to shoot their sloppy, cheap, crass B horror clown movie – which adds a metanarrative punch in the plot itself. All the characters are portrayed as funny archetypes, the director Slash is a jack of all trade doofus, while his assistant, Dirk, is a pretentious douche. Allister – who is playing the killer clown, had trained for acting at an esteemed academy only to be recruited for a farce such as this, and the girl duo – Vanita and Tiffany, are just there for adding sex appeal in Slash’s movie. Meanwhile, the curse of the beast starts taking its toll on Jack’s body and mind, and the next day he is discovered by Vanita and Tiffany near their shooting area.
What Happened To Jack At The End?
Jack gets acquainted with the crew, and takes a rest in their cabin while the crew venture outside to complete the shooting for their final day. After returning to the cabin, everyone goes their separate ways, Vanita and Tiffany go to their room to get a bit frisky, while Jack and Slash decide to chill together while snorting on cocaine. Dirk is sent outside by Slash to capture some POV sequences, while Allister stays in his room.
The cocaine intake once again transforms Jack into the bloodthirsty creature of the night, and he chases Slash out of the cabin. Eventually, Jack murders both Slash and Dirk, unbeknownst to the rest of the film crew inside the cabin. Sheriff Darson patrols near the wilderness to search for the creature responsible for the massacre, and almost catches sight of Jack in his werewolf form. Later that night, now in his beast form, Jack enters the cabin to kill Tiffany, while her cries for help are mistaken as part of rehearsal by Vanita and Allister. However, soon enough, the duo witness that a gnarly predator is lurking about, munching on Tiffany’s corpse, and petrified, they lock themselves in a room. The only way for Vanita and Allister to escape from this nightmarish situation is to access Slash’s car keys, and realizing that Slash might have died outside, Allister goes out of the window to get his keys. However, a foolhardy move such as this quite obviously proves fatal, and Allister becomes Jack’s latest victim. As the dawn breaks, Vanita nearly meets the same fate and Jack makes his way back into the cabin, but all of a sudden, he transforms into his human form and falls unconscious.
Right about the same time, Sheriff Darson arrives at the cabin and witnesses the gruesome scenario. Jack wakes up, and a scared Vanita reveals his true identity as a vicious werewolf, who is responsible for the deaths of her friends and needs to be put down. A confused Darson holds Jack at gunpoint, and fearing for his life, Jack transforms into werewolf by once again sniffing cocaine. However, Darson doesn’t need silver bullets to put down the cocaine werewolf variant, and shoots the beast to death. Vanita remains the only surviving member of the film crew as Darson drives her away to safety, while the lifeless remains of Jack, reverted to his human form, lies in the cabin.
As Cocaine Werewolf ends, a Chubacabra/Wendigo/unspecified Appalachian monster is seen getting high on a briefcase full of cocaine, and while this teases a sequel in the near future, I am not sure viewers are prepared for more coked up monstrosities anytime soon.Â
